Then and now

One year ago...

And yesterday...

Pictured in both of these photos is Z with her beloved teacher Mrs. B and Hank, one her best friends. (We're very glad she's friends with Hank as we like his parents a lot.)

Last night all of us--our family, Hank's family and Mrs. B--had dinner together. A farewell dinner as Mrs. B moving to Canada to be closer to her family.

Which is kind of too bad, because I know at least 2 more children who'd learn a lot from her.

A practically perfect morning at the Morton Arboretum

Although A cried halfway through the trip out west because she "don' wanna take a car--take a stroller," once she dried her tears and popped in her paci, we had a wonderful morning outdoors in the 70 degree (!) weather. We met up with two families we've become friends with through Z's preschool and ended up bumping another preschool family and some old neighbors. It seemed half of Oak Park was out at the Arboretum. The kids played together beautifully, climbing through the treehouses and munching their way through each other snacks.

We finished our morning with lunch at Katy's Dumpling House, and as we drove home, windows down and A drifting off to sleep, I felt so, so lucky. Fresh air and time spent with good friends--it was exactly what I needed.

The half-life of friendship

It's usually pretty clear when a romantic relationship is over. Friendships, not so much. My musings on the subject are up today at the Chicago Moms Blog.

Since the Chicago Moms Blog is being shut down, I've pasted my post here:

Like a lot of women, I need friends. My husband completes me in many ways, but my life would have a giant hole in the middle without girlfriends. And since my lifelong best girlfriend hasn't lived within 1000 miles of me since we were both 17, I don't take girlfriends for granted.

After graduation, my college girlfriends moved away. A few years later, I changed jobs and drifted apart from my work girlfriends. I made friends with the women who dated and married my guy friends, but I was lonely for genuine girl-friendship.

Finally, in 2004 we started a family. Now having a baby is good for lots of reasons, but for me, the cherry on top of the cuddles and cuteness was the whole new social network motherhood opened up. For the first time since college, I could strike up a conversation--even exchange phone numbers--with someone I'd met by chance. It seemed "How old is your baby?" was the ultimate pick-up line. And it kept getting better. I made friends at a new moms' support group, at the park, at daycare, in the neighborhood and at baby classes. I made friends with other mom bloggers. I organized a playgroup, took turns planning girls' nights out and just about cried with joy when my still fairly new friends helped my husband plan a surprise 30th birthday party.

We signed our daughter up for preschool and made more friends--people who didn't just have kids the same age as ours, but really great, interesting people whom I would have wanted to know regardless of their family situation.

But as we make new friends, old friendships are fading. I'm seeing less and less of my "original mom friends" and I struggle with that. How much effort do I put into keeping the fires of friendship alive as our children head off to separate schools and find their own, new playmates? If I've planned the last outing or hosted the last dinner, should I wait for a reciprocal invitation, or is keeping in touch from time to time the kinder thing to do?

On the one hand, I don't think there's such a thing as too many friends. On the other, I don't want to expend a lot of energy trying to rev up a friendship that's stalled, especially at the risk of coming off seeming needy. Is it worth it to nurture a previously close friendship if you only see each other every few months? I'd say only time will tell, but hopefully the internet will fill me in a lot faster.

3 things that made me smile today

1. I no longer feel like the lone blogger among my real live friends. Vanessa's Workaholic Mama blog is gaining momentum, thanks in no small part to Jeanne's highly bookmarkable guest post, the Cheap Wine Taste Test. I'd be printing this piece out and driving over to Trader Joe's right now if a) I wasn't laughing/choking on wine right this instant and b) they were open this late.

2. I hit the Chicago Sidewalk Sale at Daley Plaza during lunch and scored a new dress and a rockin' wide purple belt from Chicago boutique Michelle Tan. I don't have much in the way of designer clothes in my closet, so it was exciting to buy something that doesn't have an Old Navy, H&M or Ann Taylor Loft tag in it. And the best part? Since everything was super marked down, I spent less than $100 total.

3. A sushi restaurant opened a block and a half from my house! I met my friend Gloria, whom I've barely seen in the past few months, for a lovely dinner of soup, sashimi and maki at Sushi Sen (on Oak Park Avenue, between Harrison and Jackson). I'm going to do my damnedest to see that this local restaurant stays in business.

This is why I love my street

A was taking her afternoon nap and Z was playing on the sidewalk, singing to herself and waving at passersby when B, her friend from a few doors down ran over.

The two of them launched into an elaborate game loosely based on the characters of The Wizard of Oz that involved lots of running up and down the block, delivering "brains, hearts and courage" to imaginary Scarecrows, Tinmen and Lions.

It wasn't long before our next door neighbors arrived home and L joined the fun.

Yes, we still arrange playdates and call/text to meet friends at the park and the pool, but as often as not kids in this neighborhood make their own fun with the kids next door. It's been going on since time immortal, but from what I've heard it doesn't happen everywhere anymore. I'm glad it happens here.

My baby has a buddy!

There's only one thing in the world cuter than an adorable 21 month old, and that is an adorable 21 month old playing with an equally adorable 20 month old. Watching A and her new friend Stella was so sweet I probably should have forgone that ice cream cone.

A little background. As the second-born, A's seriously gotten then shaft when it comes to playmates. Sure, she's got 24-7 access to her big sister, but her "friends" have until now been a handful of Z's friends younger sibs.

But tonight we had over a new-to-Oak Park couple, parents to Stella and a 2nd daughter due in late June. We ate barbecue chicken, salads and corn of the cob in the backyard (yay, spring!) and watched the little girls share toys (yes, I was astonished), share snacks and point out airplanes to each other. They even held hands!

My, how our families have grown

I last took my family to visit Franny in September 2005. Here's what we looked like then...


Here's how we look now.

It was a zoo

A beautiful Sunday morning and every family in the Western Suburbs seemed to have the same idea: Brookfield Zoo. There was a traffic jam 20 minutes long just to get into the zoo 30 minutes after opening, and by the time we left, the zoo police had closed the entrance altogether.

Here's a shot of the ticket taking counter. Everyone waiting here has a zoo membership or has already paid for their single day ticket. Zoo management, is this step really necessary? It seems a little insane to me.


Inside the zoo, things weren't much more spacious. I've never seen so many strollers and wagons in my life! But at least we could say no to snacks and the merry-go-round on account of the lines.

Did I mention we went with friends? Yes, four cars worth of mommies, daddies, toddlers and babies faced the crowds and came home smiling (if exhausted).

Exploring Maya's Mom

So I'd heard some good things about the Maya's Mom online community, and I joined a couple of days ago. With work and Z being sick, I haven't had to much time to explore my new surroundings, but it looks like a great site--kind of a MySpace for moms that brings together the best of message boards (way less overwhelming that those on BabyCenter) and blogging (you can browse new journal entries). Plus, you can make friends and join interest groups. And just like MySpace, there seem to be a few friend-collectors out there--I got a friend request before I'd even finished setting up my profile!

If you're a member of Maya's Mom, let me know or look me up and link me up. There, like here, I'm Marketing Mommy.

Best day ever

75 degrees and sunny. Brunch with playgroup. Two park outings. And dinner ruined by soft serve custard from the Hole in the Wall. Pretty much perfect for a two-year-old. And I loved it too.

It's a small world after all

As if getting together with our playgroup two days in a row wasn't stimulation enough, Z made a new friend today. And, much like the story of how I met Gloria (and Z her daughter Lia), this one involves both happenstance and friends of friends.

You see, I went to my first session of prenatal yoga at the park district Saturday morning, and Sarah, the woman closest to my due date, looked vaguely familiar. But when she mentioned she had a two-year-old girl, I figured I'd probably just seen her at the pool or the library, both popular mom-and-toddler hangouts. So imagine my surprise when, after the class was over, she mentioned that we shared a mutual friend, Erica. Now Erica doesn't live in Chicago; she went to high school with Josh outside Philly. So I'm all "You remember me from Erica's wedding?" Turns out she wasn't a total savant; Erica had told her that we live in Oak Park and have kids the same age. And that's no lie: Maddy and Z were born one day apart. And now Sarah and I are expecting our second children three weeks apart.

Anyway, Sarah and daughter came over to play this afternoon and our girls got on famously, sharing beautifully, dancing up a storm and playing together. I liked Sarah a lot too, but we didn't play ring-around-the-rosy or dress up like princesses. [Thanks for the long-distance introduction, Erica! Any contractions yet?]

Old friends

Well technically they're all Josh's old friends, but having known my husband's high school buddies for about 10 years myself, I'm honored to call them my old friends as well.

We started this morning with a brief tour of the model trains at the Brandywine River Museum. Then Josh, Z and I headed into Center City to have lunch with his high school friend Erica, her husband and their adorable 1 1/2 year old daughter (and they've got another one on the way). Z was delighted to get to play with someone her own size, and she wasted no time helping herself to Adair's toy collection and sippy cups.

We headed back to West Chester for a late nap, which I took--even if Z didn't. And shortly after I woke up, Beth and twin brothers Courtney and Brandon dropped by. In spite of having plowed through two days without an afternoon nap, Z was in fine form, performing all of her tricks and generally charming the crowd. She hadn't seen Beth for about a year, but she instantly reconnected with her very first babysitter.