Some will find this even funnier than SNL

This morning, Z surprised me and Josh both when she walked away from the Berenstain Bears broadcast and announced, "I'm going to get dressed for for work upstairs." Even though I'd barely had a sip of coffee, I told her I'd come with her to help and I grabbed the jeans and long-sleeved tee I'd brought downstairs just minutes prior.

At the top of the stairs, she made a hard left into my bedroom and said, "I'm going to get ready for work in Mommy's room. I take off my jammies by my self...Now, I need a bra." With a little help from me (I could barely contain my giggles), Z wriggled into a lovely beige cotton number that no longer accommodates my knocked-up knockers. It hung down to her waist like two very saggy old-lady boobs. One shrug and the whole contraption slid down to the floor, where she stepped out of it.

But she wasn't done. She grabbed a shirt from one of my drawers, slung it over her shoulder and said, "I'm going to work in Mommy shirt!" I grabbed the white shirt before it could swiffer up all of the cat hair on the floor, and Z demanded a boost up onto my dresser. There, she tried on all of my necklaces. Then it was onto makeup. I let her go to town with my eyeshadow brush and a still-sealed loose powder. She made painting strokes all over her face and neck while singing, "I'm making myself pretty like a Mommy!"

As the mini glamorpuss hour stretched on, I realized we needed to get the girl dressed for daycare. So I tossed her onto "the big bed" (aka our bed) where she abandoned all pretensions of grown-upness and proceeded to jump up and down, clap her hands, stick out her tongue, shriek like a banshee and evade my attempts to dress her.

And once I finally got her dressed? She peed in her pants. But I was strong. I got her a fresh pair of cotton training underpants and told her she'd have better luck at Adriana's house.

Your daily funny

Fellow fans of "The Office" will find this hysterical. Everyone else will be very confused.

Tell me again why this cause is just

I watched Bob Woodruff's special report To Iraq and Back last night on ABC. It was the most powerful piece of TV journalism I've seen on commercial news in a really long time. In addition to following Woodruff's long, painful--and apparently quite miraculous--recovery from a devastating brain injury (the left side of his head was blown right off), the show introduces us to a number of the soldiers and families Woodruff befriended while in the hospital.

Returning to normal life after a TBI (traumatic brain injury) is a slow, frustrating process, and many of the soldiers will never be the same again. Many will recover speech and re-learn the use of their limbs, but others will remain drooling, diapered men, too disturbing for their former comrades to see.

By revealing this heretofore unpublicized consequence of the wars with Iraq and Afghanistan, Woodruff compels us to question our governments intentions with both of these conflicts. Are these really worthy wars? Because unless we believe that these young guys and their families are suffering for a just cause, their pain and anguish is for nothing. It is an empty sacrifice--and all the more sad.

It's not delivery...

It's da restaurant! DiGiorno Pizza is celebrating its new Ultimate line of "superpremium" pizzas with a pop-up pizza parlor on Michigan Avenue. I think pop-up retail is one of the most exciting areas of marketing, and I'm excited to see such a typically stodgy company (yes, one I've worked on) embrace a big idea.

"Ask me how's my day, Mommy"

I've made a point of asking Z about her day pretty much since she started talking. It used to consist of lots of leading questions that I was confident she could accurately answer with a "yes." I didn't learn much, but I enjoyed building the foundations of her conversational skills.

Oh how things have changed in a year. Now Z volunteers lots of specific details of her day to me. Today I asked her if she had fun with Daddy.

"Yes," she replied.
"What did you do together," I asked.
"Gymnastics! I bounced on the teddy bear balance beam. I got a stamp. I'm not going to wash it off!" (Apparently this makes sense in context. Josh does take her to gymnastics on Monday mornings and she did excel on the balance beam and trampoline today. She washed the hand stamp off in the bath since I'd cooed over it sufficiently.)

"Did you and Daddy also go to Sam's Club?"
"Yes. I lost my brown hat. We couldn't find it. We asked a man for my hat, but he didn't know where it is!" (Also true. Josh said she must have dropped it somewhere in the store, but retracing his steps and asking about it at the customer service counter proved futile.)

"Daddy said you also went to Jewel and you ran into some friends there. Who did you see at the grocery store?"
"Leo was there. And Sharon and Oliver. Leo was in the cart and Sharon was pushing him."
"Were you a good girl at the store or did you cry?"
"I cried for a new sippy cup." (Z and Daddy had a disagreement over which sippy cups were appropriate for her and ended up leaving empty handed.)

"What else did you and Daddy do today?"
"We made chicken and cookies!"

Josh and I had the chicken for dinner. And while it was delicious, Z opted for her typical evening meal of cold cereal. The cookies? Apricot hamentaschen. Happy Purim, everyone!

Baking with and for toddlers

Z and I have made mini muffins together nearly every weekend for quite some time. It's a great project to do with a 2-year-old since there are lots of opportunities for her to "help" and the results come quickly (and deliciously). By making mini muffins instead of the standard size, we not only cut down on the baking time, we end up with a perfectly sized snack for small hands and tiny appetites.

Typically, we make blueberry, banana or bran-apricot muffins (made with Fiber One), but I was in the mood for something a little different this morning. So I decided to make apple muffins and improvised this recipe around the Basic Muffins recipe in How To Cook Everything, which has recently joined the Joy of Cooking and America's Test Kitchen Family Cookbook as a go-to reference in our kitchen.

Marketing Mommy's Apple Mini Muffins

2 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 tsp salt
3 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp cinnamon
1 pinch cake spice (optional)
3 tbsp canola oil
1 egg
1 1/4 cup lowfat plain yogurt
2 small apples, peeled and chopped


Mix together the dry ingredients in one bowl. Beat together the egg, milk and oil in another bowl. Add the wet ingredients to the dry and fold to combine. Fold in chopped apples. If the batter is too thick, add a splash of milk. Spoon batter into mini muffin pan and bake at 400 degrees for 12 minutes. Standard muffins will take 20-25 minutes.

And now for a different angle

Behind the Counter may be my new favorite blog. From what I can tell, it is written by a British expat working at a Wal-Mart Customer Service counter, probably in Miami. Droll and funny as hell.

Bookshelf: Sweet and Low

Looking for a good book, but can't settle on a genre? Consider picking up Rich Cohen's Sweet and Low: A Family Story, which manages to marry a dysfunctional family memoir with the history of Brooklyn, the history of sugar and sugar substitutes, a business history of Cumberland Packing and an overview of New York City Jewish life. But that's not all. It's also a story about the mob, crooked businessmen, smooth-talking politians and a pre-Enron corporate corruption scandal of magnificent proportions.

You see, Cohen is the disinherited grandson of Ben Eisenstadt, founder of Cumberland Packing and the inventor of both the sugar packet and Sweet & Low sweetener. Cut off from the business and the fortune that went with it, Cohen has a major bone to pick with rest of the family.

His bitterness comes through like saccharin's aftertaste, but the cast of characters (nearly all of whom are Cohen's relatives) is so colorful, the storyline so unbelievable, I couldn't stop turning the pages.

It's a...

Today's 20-week ultrasound points to another girl (my intuition was on target again)! Z is going to have a baby sister and we're thrilled.

20 week belly

There's a story here

I saw this just outside the Wells and Lake entrance to the Blue Line today. Was someone evicted from the upscale apartment building upstairs? Did an angry girlfriend or boyfriend junk a significant other's property in the midst of a lovers' spat? I wonder if this sidewalk display had any effect on business at the leasing office just through the windows on the left (barely visible in my photo)...

Cheers for World Market

Seth Godin and Consumerist have been writing a lot about customer service. Seth Godin takes the perspective that today's underpaid, untrained staffers are ill prepared to deal with I've-been-taken-advantage-of-so-fix-it-now consumers. The kind of consumers who have educated themselves online using websites like Consumerist. Consumerist has built a loyal following by outing corporations' sleazy policies and publishing the direct phone lines and email addresses of company presidents.

So I'd like to counter all of the online negativity with a positive customer service story about World Market. As I've mentioned on this blog, Josh and I have been searching for ways to contain our toddler's clutter while not letting our living space turn into a plastic play land.
We've stashed smaller toys in these brown leather storage ottomans from Overstock.com, but we needed a place to hide Z's larger playthings: a basket of books, a barn, a vintage Little People house, etc.

And we found it in this lovely cabinet from World Market. We stopped into the store on Sunday, but couldn't fit the furniture into our car with Z still in the back seat. So we asked a store employee to put it on hold for us until Tuesday. Josh returned to the store, CR-V cargo space at the ready, paid for the furniture, and drove it home.



Once he'd unwrapped it, he discovered a long crack down the back, hidden part of the cabinet and called me for advice. He didn't really want to wrap it up and drive it back for an exchange, and he stressed that it was hard to see the crack unless the doors were open and the toys were out. So I suggested he call the store and ask for an additional 20% "damaged goods" discount. If they weren't willing to accommodate, we'd bring the cabinet it to exchange it. Sensing a difficult call with a front line cashier, I also stressed that he should ask for a manager right away.

Well, low and behold, the manager trusted us and gave us the requested credit!



As you can see, Z's toys fit perfectly. And the cabinet fits our decor perfectly! Go World Market!

Convenient Truths

Treehugger and Seventh Generation are co-sponsoring a video contest that invites regular folks to come up with "convenient truths" for living a more eco-friendly lifestyle. I was particularly inspired by the videos pushing cloth diapers ("An Inconvenient Poop")and composting with worms ("The Other Black Gold").

My sister is going to do the cloth diaper thing with her baby, due in May. If it works for her, I may just give it a shot with number two.

Parenting from the dark side

If there's one thing I've learned about being a Mom, it is that most of the high-minded notions I had before actually getting into the trenches and raising a kid have floated right away.

No TV before age 2? Thanks, I'd like to take a shower and empty the dishwasher once in a while. And I kind of like Curious George, anyway.

Only organic dairy products for my precious one? Er, I still look for rBGH-free jugs, but I'm not about to demand my daycare provider go organic.

Only lovely wooden playthings--and no toys that makes noise? What am I, Cinderella's evil stepmother? We keep the toy clutter to a minimum and we try to buy stuff from yard sales (plastic is easily decontaminated), but there are only so many wooden puzzles and train sets a kid needs. We do draw the line at toys that talk, though. Because while those heavy talking dolls can play back plenty of inane phrases, a $9 regular baby doll can say anything Z wants it to. And it can likely take a dip in the bathtub or stand for a run through the washing machine.

Anyway, I finally broke yet another self-imposed taboo: the ban on themes and licensed characters in our daughter's room. Z is now the very proud owner of a Disney Princess bedding set.

Bookshelf: Fake cakes and entertaining the elderly

I'm going to keep this book review short and sweet, because unlike Amy Sedaris and her more famous brother, I'm not particularly funny--at least not intentionally.

Gosh, I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence is one weird book. Weirdly compelling... but do I trust a yummy-sounding recipe if it comes from a humor book's tongue-in-cheek chapter on cooking for a funeral? Do I dare make her chicken dishes, all of which seem to require at least a full stick of butter?

And it isn't just recipes. Amy offers up pointers for paranoid hosts ("A good trick is to fill your medicine cabinet with marbles. Nothing announces a nosy guest better than an avalanche of marbles hitting a porcelain sink"), bizarro craft ideas (including her famous fake cake) and tips for dealing with the grieving, pot-heads, drunks and children.

With page after page (over 300!) of collage-like eye-candy (retro-style pinup shots of Amy, stained recipe cards and unappetizing food photography straight out of 1968), I Like You offers days--even weeks--of browsing pleasure. But is it an entertaining guide? A cookbook? Is it just for laughs? I'm not entirely sure.

Meaningful marketing

For every friend or family member who has ever accused my industry of just "telling me to keep buying crap," I present this summary of what people find meaningful and how successful brands have tapped those insights to create meaningful marketing and meaningful brands. It is from Idea Sandbox's review of Making Meaning: How Successful Businesses Deliver Meaningful Customer Experiences, and it's great inspiration for me as my agency heads into planning for 2008 for so many of our brands.

Pop goes my heart!

I expected a diverting bit of romanic comedy fluff when I went to see Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore in Music and Lyrics Saturday night. But I loved it. Really, I did. And I'm only a little embarrassed to admit I want the soundtrack.

One way of looking at it

I was nibbling on some cheese as we headed out to run some errands and, coming across a tiny bit of crusty rind, I decided to crack my window and toss it out (yeah, not setting the world's greatest example, but hey). Anyway, nothing gets past Z, who promptly piped up with, "What you just do out the window, Mommy?"
"I opened the window a little bit and threw a yucky bit of cheese out," I replied.
"The window was hungry, Mommy? I wanna feed the window, too!"

Think you know what's safe to eat? Go fish!

Don't eat fish. Definitely not sushi. Chunk light tuna's okay. Chunk light tuna's higher in mercury than we thought. Don't eat swordfish. Do eat shrimp and salmon. What about smoked salmon?

Figuring out which fish is safe to eat during pregnancy is so difficult, many moms-to-be avoid seafood altogether. But apparently cutting back on fish can be bad for baby, too. BBC News quotes Professor of Nutrition Robert Grimble as saying, "The idea of fish being toxic has been around for a long time but this study seems to be saying that is a minor problem compared with the benefits you get from fish."

Apparently, low fish and seafood intake during pregnancy is associated with increased risk of poor behavior, motor, communication and social development scores.

Me, I'm a member of the everything-in-moderation camp, but I don't think I was hitting anywhere near the recommended 12 ounces of fish per week. Perhaps I'll indulge in a tuna melt this weekend. I've been wanting one for weeks.

Toddler bed update

Z's spent four nights in her new "big girl" bed, and we haven't had any drama. No climbing out of bed. No tantrums. No tears after night one.

But. She still asks for her crib. Every night, as we're finishing up the toothbrushing and story telling, Z looks at me and says, "I don't want to sleep in my big girl bed, Mommy. I don't like it." Yesterday she even pretended to cut the mattress with imaginary scissors and said, "I'm cutting my bed. Let's put it away."

It breaks my heart a little bit, but I've tried to stay gentle and consistent, asking her to lie down on her bed, and soothing her reluctance with a back rub or a tummy tickle. And last night, as I said goodnight and left her room, she said, "Okay. I can tickle my tummy by myself."

It's interesting to see which parts of babyhood children are anxious to shed and which they long to cling to. I think my daughter would have happily slept in a crib for another year or two. And if a baby sister or brother wasn't coming this summer, I surely wouldn't have forced the issue.

Which brings us to toilet training. Still no interest on Z's part. She wants to wear diapers. So I'm not going to push the potty -- at least for a few more months. There's no hurry, and from what I've heard, most girls will tell you when they're ready.