Two days on the road and I don't want to kill my kids

I was half-excited, half-dreading our road trip east, knowing that 2 hours in the car with my children can be a major drag (see Grand Rapids), let alone 12. But believe it or not, the kids were pretty good until the very last 35 minutes in the car.

We left Oak Park at 4:15 on Thursday, right after picking Z up from her last day at Eco-Rangers day camp and depositing her tropical plant and cactus at home. Literally 10 minutes before our planned departure time, UPS dropped off the headphone splitter we'd ordered for the trip and Oscar the cat came inside. Positive signs, both. [For those wondering about Oscar's health and wellbeing during our absence, fret not: a friend of our next door neighbor volunteered to stay at our house and care for him while she waits for her Oak Park-area apartment lease to start.]

We spent the first hour on the road in traffic, but things were pretty smooth sailing after we made it into Indiana. We had a delicious pizza dinner at Rocco's in South Bend. An extra large cheese pizza, a salad, 3 meatballs, 2 lemonades and a glass of wine for under $40, including tip.

We drove on, the kids in the back playing with stickers and coloring books until twilight. Then, after they finished watching the Wiggles on our portable DVD player, the car was completely dark and they finally conked out.

And Josh kept driving. Our goal was to make it halfway to Harrisburg on the first day, and we accomplished that, checking into a Red Roof Inn outside of Cleveland at midnight. Spoiled by the nice places I get to stay when traveling for work, I don't ordinarily stay at truly budget motels, but the TripAdvisor reviews for this particular Red Roof Inn reassured me that it was secure and spotlessly clean (if possessing no other merits). It was a fine place to pass 8 hours, sleeping and showering and moving on.

Friday we hit up a Caribou Coffee for caffeine, muffins and oatmeal, which we enjoyed in the car. The kids kept themselves busy with Road Trip Bingo, stickers, iPod Touch games and yet more DVDs. The kid-sized animal headphones we purchased for them to use with the iPods and DVD player were worth every penny because Josh and I could enjoy our tunes instead of sound bleed from The Princess and the Frog.

We had lunch at a truly mediocre Mexican restaurant in Somerset, PA (yeah, I know) and made it to my high school best friend's parents' house in Harrisburg just after 3pm. Our kids ran wild together until dinnertime, but they were so over-excited and over-tired that clothes were coming off and faces were getting kicked.

We left and drove over to our hotel, a Candlewood Suites unit I'd booked online and pre-paid. They "upgraded" us to a King suite (with a handicapped-accessible shower), which boasts a separate bedroom with a king-sized bed for me to share with my children while Josh sleeps on the pull-out couch in the living room. There is also a full kitchen, free wireless and laundry, a gym and an indoor pool. Altogether pretty nice for $112 a night.

Today we're going to tour the Turkey Hill ice cream factory before meeting up with Josh's aunt and uncle (who live in Harrisburg) and his parents, who are driving up for the afternoon.

Social media makes everything better

Thank you to BING Social Search for sponsoring my post about social media. I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do.

104 people wished me a happy birthday on Facebook this week. I also got one e-greeting card (Thanks, Mom) and just two old fashioned paper cards in the mail. Some scoff that Facebook birthday wishes somehow "don't count" because the social networking site dutifully reminds us and writing a message on someone's wall takes mere seconds. But getting a constant scroll of shout-outs from former colleagues, high school classmates, roller derby gals and people from my synagogue who otherwise would never celebrate with me? Well, that they thought about me at all on my birthday felt pretty awesome, really.

Now that everyone and their mother are on Facebook, some are saying interest has peaked and people are going to start disabling their accounts (or at least going dormant in order to get through finals or a new business pitch). But while I have no doubt Facebook will eventually evolve or get replaced by something altogether different, social media overall is here to stay. Not because we desperately want to see our long-lost friends' newborn baby pictures or get links to funny Daily Show episodes, but because it's useful.

Imagine for a minute you need a plumber. A massage therapist. Or a babysitter. Once upon a time that meant "letting your fingers do the walking" or calling up all your friends and neighbors for a recommendation. Now I don't have to set aside half a day for leaving voice mails or hope that the roofer with the biggest Yellow Pages ad is honest; I can look for detailed reviews and feedback on him--as well as massage therapists, dermatologists and hair removal specials--on Angie's List and Yelp. When I need a babysitter, I check Sittercity. When I'm planning a vacation, I use TripAdvisor. Job seekers have LinkedIn, photography enthusiasts connect on Flickr and parents can look research schools on a variety of websites. Even recipe websites have gone social--on Foodily, you can connect with your friends and see which recipes they've enjoyed.

Facebook and Twitter might be time-sucks and a drain on my personal productivity, but social media has saved me money, research time and frustration by giving me instant access to the recommendations of friends and strangers alike.

Is Homemade Pizza Company as good as homemade?

Plain pizza for the kids

If you're wondering if Chicago's own Homemade Pizza Company's pizzas are as good as homemade, the answer is that it depends on what your standard of homemade is.

If "homemade" means a Trader Joe's pizza crust, jarred sauce, shredded mozzarella and a half-hearted attempt at toppings, than yes. Emphatically yes.

If you're talking homemade by my foodie husband, who cultivates his own dough the day before, uses a pizza stone in an ultra-hot oven and has a collection of cookbooks expressly dedicated to the craft of pizza-making, then no. Not really.

That said, my two girls, 3 and 6, wolfed down the entire plain cheese pizza pictured here by themselves. I've never seen them put away so much food.

But most busy moms don't have a stay at home dad/gourmet chef at their disposal (although believe it or not I am close friends with one other girl in my lucky position), and for them Homemade Pizza Company is a terrific option. Miles better than delivery. Or DiGiorno.

Disclosure: Homemade Pizza Company invited me to review their pizza and provided me with a $40 gift card. 

My birthday, my way

I kicked off my birthday celebration one day early by attending the Gilty Moms party put on by Gilte Children at the Trump Terrace. Check out the picture of the Wrigley building and the lake beyond. That is small portion of the stunning view 210 degree view from the 16th floor terrace at Trump Tower.

It was a beautiful evening, I got to see many of my favorite mom bloggers and I brought along two of my colleagues as well.

Gilty Moms was followed by my book club meeting, which interesting enough also includes a few good bloggers. We put our discussion of Wuthering Heights to bed early (no one liked it) so we could discuss Weiner's weiner and the perils of helicopter parenting.

On my actual birthday, I arrived at work to a decorated office and took breaks to enjoy the Facebook wall posts. I also used GrouponNow for the first time to treat myself to a $26 mani-pedi.

In the afternoon, my awesome team took me to Starfruit for my favorite treat. Aren't we a good-looking group?

But the day just kept getting better. Our friends Jay and Kate joined us at graham elliott for one of the best dinners I've ever had. Although we chose the 5 course tasting menu with wine pairings, we somehow ended up eating the entire experience menu, all 10 delicious courses. Highlights for me were the the truffle parmesan popcorn that arrives with your menu, the deconstructed caesar salad, the charred octopus, the jidori chicken and the lemon cake. I liked it better than Alinea.

My favorite Android apps

It's official, I'm in love. I kicked my Blackberry Curve to the curb and bought not-matching Android phones for myself and Josh. He got the T-Mobile MyTouch 4G and I got the Samsung Galaxy S. They're both great devices, but while his boasts the exclusive "Google genius" button, mine's lighter, sleeker and overall a touch more intuitive.

Also? It looks pretty much exactly like an iPhone.

Because I'm never one to dip my toe into anything, I dove right into the Android market and read through various online forums to customize my phone with the most useful free apps. Here's my list of grown-up apps. Although I've downloaded a few games for the kidlets, I'll get to those on a future post:

American Airlines: This app lets me check in, get a virtual boarding pass and access gate information and arrival times. I can also track my miles.
Amazon Appstore for Android: Every day, a new paid app is offered for free.
Calendar: While I lost the ability to view my Lotus Notes work calendar without logging in, my Android phone seamlessly synchs my online Google calendar with the calendar on my phone. You can also set it up to synch with Yahoo! and Facebook events.
Chase and USAA: Both of my banks have well-designed mobile banking apps to make it easy to deposit the odd check and make sure a credit card refund went through.
Facebook, Yahoo Mail and Gmail: Duh, I don't think these apps need any selling. But suffice it to say they are much better experiences than I had on the Blackberry.
Groupon: Redeeming Groupons right from your phone means you don't need to print them out and remember them before heading over to, say, Blue Max for lunch on a Saturday. Groupon's mobile platform is also perfectly suited for their newer offering, GrouponNow.
Key Ring: I stored all of my shopper and membership cards, including my library card on my phone, so they'll always be with me.
Kindle for Android: I don't have a Kindle, but if I did, I could pick up my reading materials right where I'd left off. Instead, I'm using this app to download public domain children's literature like fairy tales and fables so that I can read to my children before bed when we're on the road.
Gas Buddy: Locate the closest, cheapest gas.
Google Maps: I arrived in New York late on Sunday, walked out of my hotel and fired up Google Maps. I turned on the "restaurants" layer and up popped a dozen places within two blocks' walk. I could click to read reviews and ended up enjoying a delicious meal at The Fig & Olive, just a couple of minutes' walk from the Gansevoort.
NPR News: Read or listen to NPR stories, or create a playlist to listen to later.
NY Times: Even with the paywall, you can always check out the top stories.
Skype: I kid you not, 15 minutes after I'd logged into Skype, my mom called me. From Australia. On my mobile phone. For free.
TripAdvisor: Everything you love about TripAdvisor, on the road with you when you travel. You'd better believe I'll be looking up hotel reviews when we're looking for a place to stop between Chicago and Harrisburg.
Words with Friends: It's like Facebook Scrabulous (remember that?), but always with you. My cousin Mike is kicking my ass with words I've never even heard of, but at least it will take him all week to win.

Boom! Rumble, rumble, rumble...

Last night I got home from my board meeting around 10:15. I headed to bed shortly thereafter, but my mind was racing.The iced Thai coffee I'd had just after lunchtime was still coursing through my veins, making me think of concepts I needed to write, conversations I needed to have and apps I wanted to download for my just-ordered Android phone.

Finally, after 45 minutes of tossing and turning and mind OM-ver mattering, I'd finally chilled out. But just as my muscles relaxed, a fierce wind started blowing. It was so forceful the house started to creak. I was sure my 3 year old was awake and pacing on the noisy floorboards, preparing to cry, but when I peeked into her room, she was sound asleep.

Cue the lightning. Then and rain. And thunder. Oh, so much thunder! I slept fitfully for a couple of hours before A really did wake up and cry out in fear.

So 2 poor hours of sleep in my own, comfortable bed were followed by 2 1/2 hours of poor sleep next to A in on her thin twin mattress. And it was still dark, thundering and absolutely pouring all through my morning commute.

There was one sliver lining, though. A told me--for the first time--about a dream she'd had:

"I dreamed last night that I was in a big hallway. There were lots of [silver] buttons in the big hallway. And every time you pressed a button, there'd be a big noise like thunder!"

Also? The temperature dropped 40 degrees from 95 yesterday to a chilly and damp 55 today.

The Derby Lite CupQuake

I took Z with me to the Derby Lite Oak Park CupQuake last night, where we sampled 20 (!) delicious cupcakes. I felt a little guilty leaving so many bites behind at an event organized to benefit the Oak Park River Forest Food Pantry, but there's a limit to how much red velvet, toasted pecan buttercream, Dulce de Leche Tres Leches and Black Forest cupcakes two gals can put away, even with plenty of milk, coffee and water on hand.

How do you like that button?

It was fun to see so many derby girls out of their gear. Turns out most of us look pretty good without our helmets on! And Z got to bond with fellow skate Mariah Scary's 1st grade daughter ahead of our Sunday morning outdoor skate. This morning they were delighted to see each other again and they rode bikes and hung out on the playground at Concordia University while we moms skated around and around the campus' 1 mile perimeter, doing our damndest to burn off all those cupcakes.

The remainders

The winning cupcake was the Red Hot Derby Lite, a brownie cupcake finished with strawberry icing and a giant fresh strawberry created by one of the skaters, Violet Femme.

The yard sale gods were smiling

Today was our block's sort-of-annual 3 block sale, and since I'd been collecting outgrown clothes, toys and various other items on the front porch for weeks, I was set up and ready to sell when the early birds started arriving--about 15 minutes before the official start time of 8am.

The girls were keyed up with excitement. Not only did I promise them that they could keep the bulk of the proceeds from the toys sold, I let them set up a lemonade and farmers' market doughnuts stand right in front of the house. Doughnut sales were kind of a flop, but with the high heat and humidity, we went through 2 full pitchers of Trader Joe's lemonade (made from frozen concentrate). Add a sidewalk full of friendly neighbors and their unwanted stuff to the reality of making real money, and Z couldn't decide what was more appealing, selling or buying.

Ultimately I made about $140 and the girls grossed $14 a piece. More importantly, almost everything I put out sold--which means I didn't have to haul a trunkful of junk to the Brown Elephant.

Remembering my own childhood thrill of buying something with the money I'd earned, I offered the girls a trip to Geppetto's to spend their cash. A bought a hair bow and a kite and Z bought an Only Hearts doll.

It went to well I'm almost looking forward to next year. When, no doubt, it will rain.

Grand Rapids getaway

"Going anywhere for Memorial Day?"
"We're headed to Grand Rapids for a couple of days."
"Why?"

I must have had this conversation a half-dozen times in the last week. Apparently Grand Rapids, Michigan, isn't exactly known for being a vacation destination. But I'd won a 1-night getaway via a blog contest and I wasn't going to let a free hotel night and a fistful of attraction passes go unused. We initially planned on staying a second night, but both of the girls woke up on the wrong side of the bed Friday morning and were absolute pills on the way to GR, so before we'd checked in, we agreed to make the most of a shorter (and entirely free) stay.

Our first stop was the Grand Rapids Public Museum, which is kind of a like a mini-Smithsonian with a wide-ranging collection that throws together natural science, local history and cases full of curiosities. The girls loved the room of 500 dolls, the exhibit of immigrants to the area and the restored carousel, while I lingered in the most elaborate exhibit: Furniture City (Grand Rapids was built on the furniture industry).

But as interesting as the museum was, for a 6 and 3 year old, nothing beats the thrill of checking into a hotel. The Country Inn and Suites was Z's dream come true: free Otis Spunkmeyer cookies, a library shelf full of books you could borrow, a heated indoor pool (which we had all to ourselves) and an extensive breakfast buffet with a juice dispenser and DIY waffles.

"Mom is mad"

The following day we packed in two breakfasts (one at the hotel and one at a place reputed to offer "the best breakfast in Western Michigan) and visits to the awe-inspiring Fredrik Meijer Gardens and Sculpture Park and the so-fun-we-had-to-drag-them-out Grand Rapids Children's Museum before heading out of town. On the way home we stopped for a very late lunch and cherry crisp at a Crane's Pie Pantry, which we've been visiting for their homestyle food and bottomless glasses of apple cider since I was 4 months pregnant with Z. Before we piled into the car, we let the girls run around the apple orchard. And they were perfect angels for the 2+ hour drive home in the pouring rain (although the DVD player running Lilo and Stitch probably had something to do with that).

Want to know more about what we ate? Read Josh's food blog. More pictures can be seen here.

Z took this picture

A breathtaking production of Peter Pan

You may have see seen the 100 foot high circus tent at the corner of Chicago Avenue and Halsted, but unless you attend a performance of threesixty's Peter Pan, it's impossible to grasp the magic of what's happening inside those white canvas walls.

I saw the show Wednesday night with my friend Jani and our first grade daughters. Although no one sits more than a dozen rows from the stage, we were in the fifth row--close enough to see the stripes on Wendy's nightgown, the seam on Captain Hook's socks and the clothespins and neckties holding together the ingenious two-puppeteer contraption that is the Crocodile.

The show is done theatre-in-the-round style, but with two added bits of magic. The actors whip through the air like acrobats, unimpeded by tent poles; and every member of the audience gets to experience the sensation of flying thanks to the production's one-of-its-kind 360 degree movie screen backdrop. As Peter, Tinker Bell, Wendy and her brothers soar out their nursery window, we're transported over the rooftops, London Bridge and 400 square miles of CGI London. The girls' eyes widened and mine got a little teary (I'm a sap like that). Jani was suitably impressed but felt a little seasick.

This is not community theatre. Sparing no expense, the sets, costumes, effects and acting are all top-notch. If you're familiar with Walt Disney's Peter Pan, you'll find this telling of the story familiar. But the idiosyncrasies of threesixty's production are so creative and amusing they made for some of my favorite memories of the play: the animals played by fully visible puppeteers; the mermaids performing aerial acrobatics as the screens took us into an underwater realm; and Mr. Darling emerging at the end of the play from... well, you'll have to see that bit for yourself.

I was provided with free passes to the show and complimentary refreshments. Tickets start at $35/adult, $20/child and can be purchased at the Tribune Tower box office or online. We parked 1 1/2 blocks east on Chicago Avenue for $8.

No more cheap sunglasses

Until now, I have never owned a pair of fancy sunglasses. Typically I buy pre-smudged, pre-scratched shades for $15 or less at the drugstore.

Last summer I classed it up a touch, spending $20 on "designer" shades from Filene's Basement. Since I managed to avoid losing them for an entire year, I felt like I might finally be ready for a pair of grown-up sunglasses.

Expensive sunglasses.

Ray-Bans.

Crappy Blackberry self-portrait

I picked out my favorite pair at Sunglass Hut, but forgot my wallet. Used that as an excuse to scour the internet for a cheaper price, but figured the $15 I'd save buying them online from some sketchy sounding site wasn't worth the wait--particularly since we've got a mini roadtrip coming up this weekend.

So what do you think?

Bad guys

My fearless child

This weekend Z came racing into the kitchen to tell me A was on the sidewalk, 2 houses away. I ran outside and shouted out her to come back, reminding her that she's not allowed to go outside without telling a grown-up and she certainly can't walk away from the house "without a big kid or an adult."

Carried away, I finished with "I need you to be safe. What if there was a bad guy out there?"

"Bad guys are just pretend!" A retorted.

Given that the kid's not even 4 yet, and I don't want to scare her with the terrifying but ultimately very remote possibility of encountering a "bad guy," I let that slide. But it might be time to check out that Stranger Safety video again.

Also from this weekend, the annual gym show!

Z leads the Super Mini Stars
A and the Young Mini Stars

May his memory be a blessing

The first 12 years of Blessing's life pass in comfort. Her father is loud and drinks a lot, but in her eyes, he is the lovable big man who swings her and her brother up onto his shoulders as soon as he returns home from his cushy government job.

Then her mother catches him in the arms of another woman and flees Lagos to move in with her parents in their primitive rural home. Tiny Sunbirds, Far Away  is the coming of age story of a girl uprooted, a family in turmoil and a country in chaos.

Seeing her father for who his really is--not the king of the family, but a flawed character -- a failure, really--is key to Blessing's initiation into womanhood.

And so relatable. I was 8 years old when my charmed childhood came to a screeching halt. Dad had an affair and my parents separated. I met the Other Woman. I hated her. I hated my Dad. Divorce was on the table.

Although my parents reconciled and the separation only lasted about half a year, my father's betrayal forever colored my opinion of him. I admired his charm, his professional successes and his smarts, but I couldn't shake the feeling that deep down he wasn't a good person.

My Dad died of a sudden heart attack 9 years ago this week. When loved ones die, Jews say "May his memory be a blessing," and my father's memory is a blessing.

A mixed blessing.

I received my copy of Tiny Sunbirds, Far Away as part of my membership in the From Left to Write Book Club. Instead of critical reviews, we write posts inspired by the book we've read.

If the bra fits...

Many experts believe that men's underwear sales are a leading economic indicator. When the economy's bad, they'll wear threadbare briefs, but when they are feeling flush, they'll splurge on new pairs.

I think I may be a man.

While I've actually made a major effort to invest in cute panties this year (l'm a fan of the Gap's cotton hipster style), my bra collection is bordering on vintage. I've got a drawerful of Wacoal and Body by Victoria bras I've purchased over the past 8 years, but since the Loehmann's where I bought the Wacoal bras closed and Victoria's Secret smells like a cross between a florist and a whorehouse, I've been letting my underthings get a little long in the tooth.

So when Wacoal invited me to get professionally fitted and gifted, I yanked off my shirt faster than you can say "Show me your tits." They say most women are wearing the wrong size bra, but at first measure, I was still the 34C I knew myself to be. But even within the same brand, not all bras are the same. And the cute bra I picked out from Wacoal's sexier, more youthful b.tempt'd line fit me better in a 32D.

The fitter advised me that when looking for a perfect fit you want to make sure the band doesn't creep up your back. Sometimes that means going down a band size and up a  cup size. She also gave me this great shopping tip: buy a bra that initially fits on the tightest hook setting. As you wear and wash it, it will eventually get stretched out and you can adapt by fastening it a bit tighter.

Josh, a champion of cute new undies, is also lending strong support to the purchase of sexy new bras. Funny how that works.

Old photos bring back a flood of memories

Me and Eleanor, 6 and 4

I remember the napkin holder and bowl

My mom bought a slide converter and has been uploading old photos to the web this week. Most of them are from 1980-82, so I was roughly the age my children are now. Many pictures are ones I've never seen before, and it's amazing how small details bring back a flood of memories.

Seeing my sister and I glumly posed in matching embroidered peasant dresses reminded me of how much we hated to be dressed in itchy, identical clothes (although similar outfits in different colors those pictured here were okay).

Most impressive is how seeing little details of our home has brought back so many tactile memories of day to day life as a child. Gazing again upon the rag carpet, cane-backed dining room chairs, plastic tablecloth, concrete block bookshelves and the cheap woodgrain storage drawers where Dad kept his cassette tape collection gets me wondering how much of our daily existence is burned deep within my children's memories. What will they remember?

Those suspenders were a prized possession

The Learning Goal Fair

On the drive to the local elementary school after dinner, Josh complained he wasn't feeling well. He snapped at the girls, asking them to keep their voices down. I warned him that the volume in the car was nothing compared to what he'd hear at the Learning Goal Fair.

And I was right. Oh Lord, how right I was. The classroom was packed cheek to jowl as parents and other students (and their parents) squeezed through, gaping at the posterboard displays on Parts of the Butterfly, Square Foot Gardening, Flags of My Family and Justin Bieber. I was proud to see that Z's was one of the projects clearly completed with virtually no parental help. Some looked like Mom or Dad had done the bulk of the work.

Sick Josh bailed 20 minutes in and went home to crawl into bed, leaving me with a hyper 1st grader and a 3 year old beyond excited to join the big girls (Z and her similarly skinny and bright BFF) as they showed off their research projects and chased down their friends ("There's Gabe--let's go chase him!").

I'm not proud to say I actually lost the girls for about 10 minutes.

Still, I found them, brought them home and put them to bed by myself. Did I mention I got my mommy mojo back? Thank you 1-2-3 Magic.

When life gives you lemons, you walk

Image courtesy of Derby Lite

In my head I imagined lacing up my skates with 100+ Derby Lite gals and gliding along the lakefront for today's ACS Walk & Roll. My only worries were sunburn and what I'd wear--leggings, Derby Skinz or both?

But it seems someone pissed off Mother Nature in a big way. From last weekend's picture-perfect weather to the record 90 degree high on Wednesday, the mercury went plunging to a bitter 42 degrees. Add wind and rain, and you have a pretty good picture of what things looked like this morning in Grant Park.

Still, 37 Derby Lite troupers walked 5 miles in the cold and wet, blowing on our fingers, wiggling our numb toes and sharing memories of the grandparents and parents we'd lost to cancer. As a group, we've very close to raising a total of $100,000 over the course of the last 4 years. Just an extra $25 per participant will put us over the edge. If you haven't already sponsored me, would you consider doing so now?

The whiny post

It's a cliche to complain that my life is busy, I know. But the last month has been such an overwhelming blur that I'm (almost) savoring 2+ hours of alone time. Even if it is with a glass of mediocre Merlot at the Cincinnati airport bar.

What's been keeping me go-go-going? It's not one thing. It's the pace of my job. We're working on more projects and at a faster pace than before and the boss I've loved working for just moved up and off the business. The good news is that he isn't being replaced and I'm getting to fill his role. The flip side is that I feel enormous pressure to not only do my job perfectly, but to keep my team, my account counterparts and my clients happy.

Add to that my position at our local Montessori school. I'm winding down after nearly 2 years of service as co-president of the board, but every time I feel like things are going really well, another fire flares up. It's emotionally exhausting to deal with so many personalities and issues and try to do the right thing all the time. And thing is, I care. I really do. Even when my term ends in the late summer, I can't wash my hands of the school. I love the community and I'm committed to sending A there for another 2 years.

There's the change in the seasons, too. While I love spring and summer and my mood thanks the sun for every moment of light and warmth, with the warmer weather comes more commitments: soccer games, gardening, picnics, yard sales, festivals and impromptu gatherings with friends and neighbors tempt the minute I leave work and all weekend long. And longer days make it harder to wind down the kids after dinner. Because who wants to take a bath and read a book when there's a basketball game outside your window?

Speaking of the kids, A is fully in the throws of the terrible 3 and three-quarters (to borrow a phrase from Whitney, who's daughter Scarlett is the same age). She can throw a temper tantrum like nobody's business, and there's no "hey, look at this fun toy!" distraction possibility like there was a year or so ago when she could be "redirected."

If you've been reading my blog for long or know me personally, you know I'm not usually such a Debbie Downer. So I'm going to end this post and try to cheer myself up with 3 2 Things to Look Forward to this Weekend.

1. I'm skating 10 miles in the American Cancer Society Walk and Roll on Sunday. It's still not too late to sponsor me! I've raised $742 and my team as a whole is up to $30,000+.
2. Friends are coming over for dinner on Saturday evening.

Happy Mother's Day to Me

Paul Goyette took this picture right before A's recital

My loot:
Josh bought me fancy beer and liquor and loaded up the iPod Shuffle I'd won with workout music. I ran 2 miles listening to Lady Gaga and 3 repeats of Faith No More's "Be Aggressive" (maybe I won't use the shuffle in shuffle mode next time).
Z brought home a "breakfast in bed" bag she'd assembled at school that included an orange, a packet of instant coffee, a homemade blueberry muffin and "If You Give a Mom a Muffin," a clever spoof of "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie," her teacher wrote and Z illustrated.
A gave me a flower seedling, a hand-painted card and an extra half-hour of sleep.

My day:
I let Z skip Sunday school and we all had brunch on the patio at Maya del Sol. We played at the park for a hour or so before Josh and I left the girls with a sitter and impulsively headed downtown to see Werner Herzog's 3D Cave of Forgotten Dreams. Probably a bad idea to waste a beautiful afternoon sitting in the dark watching a film about cave paintings, but it was pretty fascinating nonetheless.

For dinner had our neighbors over and fired up the grill for the season's first brats, dogs, coleslaw and s'mores. Eaten outside.

I couldn't have asked for a better Mother's Day. And that's taking into account the fact that A threw a world-class, every-neighbor-could-hear-it fit over not getting "the pink cup" at dinner.

Friendship

A has been driving us crazy with her temper tantrums, refusal to nap and general orneriness, but her friendships with other little girls are blossoming. [Focus on the positive. Focus on the positive.] Check out these snaps of her with one of her BFFs, Rachael. Not only is she a classmate, she's the younger sis of one of Z's best friends and soccer teammates.

Shake hands with a hero

I hope Osama bin Laden's death brings a measure of comfort to those who lost loved ones on 9/11. The timing, however, is serendipitous. Just last night, two hours after Obama broke into a broadcast of Celebrity Apprentice (and eight long years after President Bush declared "Mission accomplished"), my team launched a digital program for Kroger and Procter & Gamble that lets all of us show our gratitude to American servicemen and women.

Please participate at HonoringOurHeroes.com. Our goal is to get 50,000 people to offer a virtual handshake to one of the 300+ Kroger grocery store employees who active duty soldiers in the service.

My foodie husband's got a blog

Have you checked out Josh's blog, Fishsticks and Ketchup? He just posted reviews of the Oak Park area's latest burger joint and first Vietnamese restaurant. Stay tuned for his review of the most talked-about restaurant in the country, Next. We're among the 7000 people to get tickets to their Paris 1906 menu and we're going on Thursday.

The Happiest Mom: We have a winner!

Congratulations to commenter #2, Shylo Bisnett, who said this about her key to happiness: "Even though I stay at home, I finally realized that the best thing for me and my toddler was to send him to pre-school. We needed time away from each other and I need time to be with myself. I felt guilty about spending the money, but my son is flourishing and I have time to train for a triathlon."


Shylo was selected using Random.org. Thanks to everyone who played!

Walk and Roll update and the promised picture

Thanks to many of you, I've raised $742 for the American Cancer Society with help from 16 donors via my Walk and Roll participant page. And, as promised, I'm sharing a photo of myself in full derby regalia--fishnets, short shorts, knee socks and safety gear.

I'll be putting on my outdoor wheels and lacing up my skates for the 10 mile course on May 15, 2011.

Bring your kids to work...

Z with the McDonald's gang. "Who?" 

...And fill their bellies with junk and minds with TV commercials. What? Is that my working mother of the year award? You shouldn't have.

I brought in both girls for 3 1/2 hours of Kellogg's, Coke, Hallmark and McDonald's brand experiences (they're all Leo Burnett clients). The highlight of the day was the make-a-mess room where they could go bananas with finger paints, shaving cream, bubbles and silly string before cleaning up with the new Delta Touch faucet. The girls also got a kick out of posing on a green screen and getting themselves edited into a Coke ad.

A customizes a Pop Tart

The low point was the interminable waits for overcrowded elevators (a problem every year) and standing in an unmoving line for face painting. We finally bailed in favor of popcorn and slushies from the print room and mini chair massages before dad drove up to get them home. And I could get back to work. Real work, that is.

Bring your kids to work day 2010
Bring your kids to work day 2009

This Energizer ad is terrible

There are a lot of mediocre ads out there, but it's rare to come across one so head-scratchingly bad as this one for Energizer Max batteries.

But I'll start with what's good not terrible. Energizer is partnering with the National Park Foundation. Cause marketing is lovely and while I certainly need batteries for my flashlight when I'm camping in the woods, it is a little disingenuous for a disposable battery brand to associate itself with the environment. But if you look closer, this isn't really a cause marketing campaign. If you buy 3 specially-marked packages of Energizer batteries, you get the $10 award in the form of a prepaid MasterCard or PayPal deposit. Or, if you're particularly generous, they will donate it on your behalf. Just don't try claiming that as a deduction on your tax return!

The image at the center of the ad, with the image of nature superimposed over the battery window, it's fine. It makes literal sense of the association. The headline, "Get a $10 reward and explore America's National Parks through Energizer" is a bit of an overpromise as $10 doesn't even pay half of the entry fee for one vehicle at Yellowstone. But the worst part of this ad--by far--is the completely baffling use of a city harbor and skyline. Hell, the water takes up half the page! If anyone can explain this staid image's connection to National Parks, to battery usage, even to cash rewards, I'm all ears.

Like auntie, like daughter

My sister-in-law Bethany's been calling A her mini me since she was born. She may have a point.

Rub-a-dub-dub, it's all fun in the tub

My 3 year old has quite the imagination. Even bathtime offers no respite from her nonstop talk-out-loud fantasies. Tonight all of the tub toys were lined up on the edge for some kind of elaborate game.

 

Jellyfish, wow!

When your 1st grader has spent the last 2 months diligently working on a research project on jellyfish (complete with a hand-written book, model jellyfish and poster display), there's no way you're going to say anything but "Hell, yes!" to a Blogger Brunch invitation at the Shedd Aquarium and a chance to see their new Jellies! exhibit, even if it is scheduled for 8am on a Saturday morning.

The event itself was pretty disorganized. The parking lot we'd been directed to was closed and breakfast consisted of a table of coffee and massive jelly doughnuts (get it?) tucked away in a room full of duffles and sleeping bags from the previous night's "Sleeping with the Fishes" overnight. In fact, the PR staff kept having to shoo tweenagers away from the refreshments, asking "Are you hear for the media event?"

The jellies are beautiful and mesmerizing to watch, but their stinging tentacles are not the only reason to fear these ocean-dwellers: it turns out global warming, pollution and ocean acidification are actually good for jellyfish--making them a scary harbinger of bad news.

The Happiest Working Moms

I'm honored and delighted to host today's stop on Meagan Francis' virtual book tour. I've known Meagan since the early days of the Chicago Moms Blog (R.I.P.), and in the years since, she's added a fifth child (her first girl) to her beautiful family, moved from the big city to a much smaller town in southwest Michigan, and shifted her writing career into overdrive. 


The Happiest Mom is not unlike Good Enough is the New Perfect--also just released--in that its focus is on not sweating the small stuff, something increasingly hard to do in this age of hyper-parenting. But while Good Enough is a fairly weighty read of interviews and research into the lives of happy (and unhappy) moms with demanding professional lives, The Happiest Mom is a light, cheerful book full of quizzes, tips and adorable illustrations. It's not unlike an issue of Parenting magazine (who partnered with Meagan to publish it) in that you can open it to any page and find immediate inspiration in the form of a helpful hint. 


In The Happiest Mom and on her blog of the same name, Meagan speaks to a broad audience of SAHMs, WAHMs, part-time working moms and full-time working moms, regardless of their academic or professional ambition. So I challenged Meagan to come up with her top tips for happiness for moms like me--those of us who are as dedicated to our career selves as we are to our children and have upended traditional roles to become the primary breadwinners for our families.


Even though I'm a working mom, in our household my husband and I have still stuck to fairly traditional gender roles...at least, on the surface. But like many families, we're slowly working toward a more equitable division of labor: both the kind that happens in the home and the kind that pads the bank account. 

And we're just one face of the changing modern family. Maybe in your partnership the roles have been completely reversed: you're working outside the home while he's caring for the kids and getting dinner on the table. Or maybe you're a single working mom, or both you and your partner work full-time outside the home. These days, there are almost as many different variations of work-life arrangements as there are individual families.

No matter how you and your partner juggle life, work, and kids, my "secrets" of happier motherhood can apply to you. Here are three I think are particularly relevant to working moms:

1) You don't have anything to prove. As a busy working-out-of-the-home mom, my sister Kathreen used to feel obligated to chaperone every possible school field trip and head up the PTA, just to prove she was really caring and involved. After many years of giving all her personal time to the school, she realized she was volunteering more out of guilt than because she felt really strongly about accompanying her child to the zoo...and as for the PTA, well, it was time to pass the baton. Lucky me--by the time I got to have school-aged kids, I was able to follow my sister's example and limit my volunteering without guilt. 

Sure, maybe some moms shake their heads behind my back because I don't appear to be as involved as they are, but who cares? I don't have anything to prove to anyone besides myself and my own family...and there are many ways to contribute that don't include a lot of classroom face-time.

2) Do what you're best at or enjoy most, and delegate the rest. I actually love to clean...a few very specific areas of my house. As for the rest? Between deadlines and a toddler hanging off my leg, there's no way I'd regularly get around to cleaning my own baseboards or dusting the ceiling fan blades. My solution is delegating. 

My kids and my husband pick up a lot of the slack, but because my husband also works and my kids are still pretty young, there's just no way we can do it all. So we have a cleaning person, Lynda, come in twice a month to do the real dirty work. Worried about affording her services, I did the math, and realized her pay is about the same as the cost of a premium cable package.

I ditched the cable and never missed it. On the other hand, I'd miss Lynda something terrible.

Cleaning is just an example, of course. From grocery shopping to cooking, from schedule-keeping to managing your finances, chances are good you'll do a better job of juggling if you delegate the stuff that brings you down or just doesn't seem to fit. 

If you can't afford to hire something out and it doesn't seem all that important, another option is just ignoring it. After all, will anyone really notice if your baseboards aren't clean? 

3) Deconstruct guilt.
"Don't feel guilty" is easier said than done. And I'm not totally anti-guilt: I think real guilt (the kind you feel when you freak out on your kid for no reason, for example) is a useful tool that can let us know when we are on the wrong path. But nothing gets in the way of making confident decisions and enjoying life like free-floating, non-specific guilt. Whenever I'm feeling vaguely guilty but can't quite pinpoint a cause, I ask myself questions like these:

• Why do I feel guilty? Specifically, what did I do or not do?
• Is somebody else's opinion causing this guilty feeling?
• If so, does that person's opinion matter?
• Have I actually harmed anyone?
• Will my child (or spouse) remember this in a month? How about a year?
• Is there anything I can do to make this situation better?
• Are there positive sides that I'm not looking at?

And so on. Usually I find that the more I start to deconstruct what I'm feeling in relation to what's actually happened, the less and less guilty I feel. Sometimes I realize I'm feeling guilt over something silly, and that even though I, say, forgot to turn in the Scholastic book order (AGAIN), it isn't actually doing my child harm. Other times I realize that even though my child might be sad or disappointed (say, because I'm going away for the weekend for work) that there are positive sides (a fun weekend with Dad or Grandma!) and that I can ease his sadness with some special together time on my return.



Is Meagan's advice amazing, or what? I want her to move back to Chicago and next door to me so I can hear this kind of stuff every day, in person, over a glass of Pinot Noir. The only piece of wisdom I have to add is that just because you're working full-time doesn't mean you have to devote 100% of your nonworking time to your family. Meagan touches on the importance of pursuing your own interests in The Happiest Mom, but I find too many working women feel guilty about spending one more hour away from their children and avoid joining a book club, volunteering, or joining a roller derby team. I'm hear to tell you that you can do all of the above. Just not if you care to watch television ever again.


Do you want to win a copy of The Happiest Mom? Leave a comment here or on Facebook with your key to happiness, be it something you do...or something you don't. I'll select a winner in a week or so.

Happy Passover

Why is this Pesach seder different from all other seders? For starters, because it was 90 percent read/led by my precocious 6 year old. But also because we continued a childhood tradition of dying hard-boiled eggs with Easter egg dye and placing the prettiest on the seder plate.

My in-laws joined us around the seder table this year, and while A barely made it through our abbreviated 30 minute seder without losing it, it was a pleasant meal and one my children are sure to remember. Josh cooked a fantastic roast chicken and matzo ball soup as well as sweet potatoes and homemade horseradish. I contributed the charoset and Smitten Kitchen's addictive chocolate toffee matzo, which I sprinkled with pecans and sea salt.

And I'm because I'm still not tired of sharing pictures of my new dining room...

Happy Passover!

Two toys I'm raving about: Tegu blocks and Uno

In advance of yard sale season, we've been going through a massive toy purge at our house. Our girls are getting older and it's becoming clear not only which toys they've outgrown (Little People), but which toys have staying power (Playmobil sets), which are only intermittently interesting (puzzles) and which can disappear without anyone even noticing (those poor neglected stuffed animals).

We've also brought two very small new playthings into the house. Remembering fondly my own childhood obsession with Uno, I purchased a deck of Uno cards for Z at Walgreens. Hands down, it is the best $6 I've ever spent. Not only does my 6 year old want to play every single day, Josh and I actually enjoy a quick card game or two against our strategic little Uno player. And since A knows her numbers and colors, she can play too, with some assistance.

I also accepted a toy for review for the first time in many months. Tegu is a socially responsible company that makes these marvelous wooden blocks embedded with tiny magnets. They sent me a $28 Tegu pocket set with a little woolen carry case (not much larger than a deck of cards) which I promptly slid into my handbag.

People, A gave up the iPod touch to play with Tegu blocks as she waited for her gnocchi to arrive at Jimmy's Place. And once again, the parent play factor can't be ignored. I love the little click the blocks make as they snap together into tiny wooden beds, desks, chairs and robots. The smooth wood surface is pleasant to handle, and with their perfect size and magnet attraction, the blocks are intensely satisfying to tinker with. They're pricey, but I'm tempted to buy more.

An early taste of summertime

Winters in Chicago stink, but this city sure knows how to enjoy a warm day! With temps in the 70s on Saturday and mid-80s (!) today, we spent most of our time out-of-doors, rollerskating, scootering, yard sale-ing, biking and playing at the park. Z bonded with her buddies and A made new friends wherever we went. It was simply glorious.

Good enough is the new perfect: the book

It seems like the more I'm on my game at work, the less I shine at motherhood. And it isn't about time at the office versus time at the dinner table. I get home at a decent hour, but I've been so focused on ideation and creation and presentation that I seem to have misplaced my mommy mojo.

You see, Josh left to review a show last night and both girls were up late, fighting sleep and in tears two short hours after I was bragging about how easy they were to a prospective babysitter. And today I earned parenting demerits from Josh for making Buckeyes batter before lunch, for failing to get A to nap, and for letting the kids play at the park too long.

Good thing perfect parenting is overrated. In their new book Good Enough is the New Perfect: Finding Happiness and Success in Modern Motherhood (out April 19th), Becky Beaupre Gillespe and Hollee Schwartz Temple, the work-life balance columnists for the American Bar Association Journal, interview dozens of working women and comb through hundreds of surveys to determine what makes us happy. The answer, not surprisingly, is that the "good enoughs" among us are happier with our jobs, our spouses and our children than the "never enoughs." And while in our culture of perfectionist overachievers "good enough" is often interpreted as "you suck,"between the demands of our children, our jobs, our spouses and our own personal needs, something has to give. And it shouldn't be our happiness. Because you know what they say, if mama ain't happy, ain't no one happy.

Fortunately, I am happy. One of the hardest things about Josh and my gender-role reversal is I have to accept that--through practice and familiarity--he has become the more adept parent. He knows our children's routines and can read their moods better than I can. The bonus points I earned from breastfeeding and baby soothing (especially late at night) have long since expired.

My happiness comes from hanging up my supermom cape and realizing that my kids are thriving regardless of whether or not I'm packing every lunch, volunteering as room mom or watching them at swim practice. Not only that, I have obligations that take me away from my family multiple evenings a month. But I refuse to feel guilty about maintaining my friendships, nurturing my passions and staying fit. 

That said, I need to re-master the bedtime routine if I'm even going to qualify as a "good enough" mom.

Disclosure: I received a review copy of the book at no cost. I was not required to write about it and all opinions expressed are my own. 

Have you read Unbroken?

The story of Louis Zamperini, a ne'r do well kid turned Olympic runner who enlists as an officer during WWII, goes down with his plane and fights off sharks only to be further tortured as a POW in a series of horrific Japanese camps, is the focus of Unbroken, a newish nonfiction book by the same woman who wrote Seabiscuit.

My mom recommended it to me when she was last in town, and I suggested it to my book club, who gathered in my dining room to discuss it last night. I took a couple of photos before my guests arrived.


Note the new paint on the walls, the buffet I bought off craigslist last Sunday and the food. Emily set the bar high last time by serving a very English spread of shortcake, strawberries and homemade (!) lime curd for our discussion of Major Pettigrew's Last Stand. How was I to keep up when Louie spends three-fourths of the book starving. I couldn't very well serve filthy, bug-infested rice balls or raw shark liver, so I pulled from Louie's Italian heritage and offered working mom-friendly antipasto assortment courtesy of Whole Foods and Trader Joe's: Parmesan-Reggiano and Provolone cheeses, a beef salami, marinated artichoke hearts, olives and Josh's homemade crusty loaf. "Dessert" was strawberries and Hershey bars.

Reading this book while following the crises in Japan was disconcerting, to say the least. On the one hand, I was watching the media's coverage of the immense challenges facing the poor, unfortunate elderly Japanese citizens living on the northwest coast and being reminded of the horrors of Nagasaki and Hiroshima. On the other hand, I was finally learning about horrors a very racist, brutal country inflicted on its neighbors and POWs 60 years ago and how Hiroshima could have been prevented had the Japanese not been so unwilling to accept defeat. All of us were surprised we'd grown up so well educated on the Nazis and the Holocaust and so fuzzy on the details of the Pacific front beyond the bombing of Pearl Harbor.

I recommend Unbroken without qualifications. It is a highly readable story about a truly inspirational character that gives today's reader a thorough education our war with Japan and a profound respect for the men and women of the greatest generation. At the very least, reading about the Louie's incredible trials (starvation, daily beatings, humiliation and torture) will put into perspective the relatively minor challenges we face today.

Changes are afoot in the Klein house

First it was the spring cleaning--clearing out toys my kids have outgrown and clothes I haven't worn all season for whatever reason. Then it was the rearranging of Z's room to accommodate a desk and chair and the clearing out of other rooms to get painted.

Last week we had our dining room, master bedroom, A's room and the bathroom professionally painted. I'm anxious to share before-and-after photos, but I want to wait until the rooms a little more "done." So I'm looking for rugs, reconsidering the placement of art and--in the most dramatic move--rearranging the dining room to make it less of a play area and more of a grown-up space.

Please, please arrive tonight!

The art table is going to go downstairs. The 7 foot bookshelf will be relocated or sold and a vintage sideboard (pictured) is coming in. I'll finally have a buffet and a place to store platters, extra silverware and the china set my mom's been threatening to give to me for the past decade!

Anyway, the piece is a 1958 Davis Cabinet Company Walnut buffet. Kate went with me to Edgewater to check it out in person last night and I handed over my $250 in cash. Called a mover I'd used to collect my dining room table and chairs and he agreed to pick it up after we finished our (delicious!) dinner at Big Jones. Only he got waylaid and now the plan is to have it picked up and delivered to Oak Park tonight. Fingers crossed all will go well.