Today I didn't pump.
I. Just. Didn't. Pump.
I'd planned to, I just let the hours slip by, thinking about the breast pump in my desk drawer, peeking at it, and closing it away. Part-weaning on a whim, you could call it.
Why? Well, I really don't care for the grimy, distant, sink-less mothers' rooms at my new place of employment, but I know women have pumped in much more undesirable locations (supply closets, airplane bathrooms, conference rooms).
But with a lousy place to pump and dwindling commitment (Baby A is almost 7 months old), I just said to hell with it. I want to stop shlepping. Stop cleaning parts. Stop planning for the break in the middle of the day. I want to start working out over lunch, and I'll feel less guilty about that if I'm not also breaking to pump.
So, no, I don't feel too guilty. After all, I nursed exclusively for six months. And now that I've found a brand of formula that Baby A will drink, I'm going to put away the pump for good and have the nursing relationship I enjoy (baby vs machine) in the morning, evening and at night.
Cross-posted to the Chicago Moms Blog
4 comments:
I've just given up pumping too. I only lasted two weeks with the thing !! The constant cleaning and sterilising of the parts, the milk drips that would leak onto my clothes, even if I brought a clean cloth to put under my breasts, the constant looking at the clock and dreading I had to sit there and pump again, and the constant wet feeling in my bra, not to mention sore heavy and tender breasts all the time. I had to deal with extreme guilt, after all, my baby was only 5 weeks old, and I just couldn't handle the pain of baby on breast any more (he had an amazing suction grip, and yes I was doing everything right), and I knew once I quite that was it. And breastmilk is like gold right? I finally decided he will be alright on formula, and it saved me drifting into some sort of strange (I hate this but don't want to stop) depression. Don't be sad, move on to having some time for yourself, some freedom. Your baby will be just fine, and you will be happier. Congratulations on finding a formula Baby A will drink !
Sincerely
Cristina
Alma, you have to do what you think is best for both of you! I was staying at home, so breastfeeding was convenient since I didn't have to pump. If I had been a working mom, I am not sure I could have handled all of that pumping! I agree that it must just be exhausting to have to keep that up each and every day. Washing the pump parts is really the most annoying thing of it all! It sounds like you are still going to breastfeed Baby A multiple times a day when you are home, so that will be quite suitable. The only thing to be worried about is your supply staying constant since you won't be feeding her during the day. She will get all the nutrients she needs from the formula during the day and some additional ones at night! You can take a much-needed Mommy break and get your buns moving in the gym. Best of luck and keep us posted on how it goes. Bye-bye pump. We won't miss you.
I think 6 months is amazing. I only made it three, and even then I never produced enough milk so I was always supplementing with formula.
You should be proud.
I'm on the verge of cutting down from two daily pumpings at work to just one, and I'm having a hard time with the mommy guilt. I don't really know any way around it. I assume part of it is my forever battle with breastfeeding, and feeling like I should always do EVERYTHING to get my kid as much milk as possible. But he is 9 months old now...I suppose giving myself a little break (with one less pumping while at work) isn't so bad.
Damn this mommy guilt. It kills me. I'm jealous you are walking away guilt-free.
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