"Are you from Chicago?"I get asked that a lot. If it's just small talk, I usually say that no, I hail from Northern Virginia and leave it at that.
But Arlington isn't really my home. Having spent many of my formative years overseas I don't feel like I have a hometown, a place with roots.
I'm a Foreign Service brat. Like kids in military families, we moved about every 3 years, following my father's assignments from my birth in D.C. to toddlerhood in Bonn, West Germany and preschool in Boston. We moved back to D.C. in time for kindergarten and halfway through fourth grade, we headed back to Germany, this time to Berlin. The summer before 7th grade we moved to Islamabad, Pakistan, where we stayed until the day Gulf War I broke out and dependents and nonessential personnel were evacuated. That was halfway through my freshmen year in high school, a rough time to integrate oneself into American youth culture made rougher by the fact that I was living out of a single suitcase full of woefully out of fashion clothes in cramped temporary housing.
I'm lucky to have lived in foreign countries. To have traveled extensively, exploring Canada, Germany, Switzerland, England, Italy, Poland, Austria, Pakistan, India, Sri Lanka, the Maldives, Albania, Uzbekistan and Belgium before I was 21.
I know my unusual upbringing help shaped me in countless wonderful ways. But it isn't a childhood I want for my own children. For all the cultural and geographical richness, it was emotionally wrenching to be constantly making and losing friends. To be so far from extended family. To lack something so fundamental as roots. It might sound crazy, but I wanted to live in our own house with our own furniture. I dreaded moves because I didn't want to have to give away our pets and pack up or purge my treasures.
I'm consciously putting down roots in Oak Park. Z's lived in our house, on our street, her entire life. It's only been 4 1/2 years, but that's longer than I called any place home growing up.
Flickr photo by Kenzijoy109
5 comments:
Hi Alma--loved the sneek peek into your formative years! What a wonderful opportunity, but hear you on lack of roots. Fortunately, my dad left the Air Force when I was fairly young, but I did move a lot as well. I was sixteen when we moved from Chicago to Atlanta, so b/t my sophomore and junior year in High School. Very hard to feel like I had a place there during my last years in high school. It makes us into strong people, though. ;) Thanks for sharing. --Shay
The bright side (other than getting to experience all those different cultures and sights) was that you had the opportunity to reinvent yourself (rebrand?) and start over every three or four years. As someone who spent my childhood in a single community, I had to wait until college myself to do this. I seem to recall that the move to Islamabad offered you a wonderful opportunity after a not-so-happy experience amidst the school cliques in Berlin. (Mom)
Actually, while Berlin was tough for the first year, I was heart-broken to leave. In 5th and 6th grade I had two wonderful best friends, the first BFFs of my life. One I'm still in touch with and the other I look for on Facebook from time to time (haven't found her yet).
While it might work for cream cheese and toothpaste, I'm not convinced a person can rebrand herself. You can "refresh your logo" with braces, a new hairstyle or an updated wardrobe, but you are who you are, wherever you go.
What an amazing opportunity you had. I must say I am slightly envious. This is coming from someone who was born and lived on the same house for just over 20 years, and when growing up vacations were limited to places that were within a 12 hours drive. Ours roots are definitely planted ;)
I'm right there with you - I was a 'corporate brat' and moved around, and all I wanted was to know what "home" was. We've now been in our house for 9 years, and you made me realize this is the longest I've ever lived anywhere!
Ironically, my best friend that I met in college was an 'army brat' and she lived in Germany for a few years. Her & I found a common bond of not having roots in one place.
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