Friday, August 28, 2009

A little surgery to keep things interesting

If you have a plantar wart, take a tip from me and don't ignore it indefinitely. Yes childbirth, a new baby, a second pregnancy, the chaos of two small children and a job change can get in the way of preventative health care, and a little discomfort on the bottom of your foot is awfully easy to ignore (except when you're required to stand or walk for a long time), but let me share the alternative.

Laser surgery. It's a dramatic solution for those now 5 little warties, but it's all but guaranteed to work.

Here's how it went down...

10:00 p.m. yesterday - Enjoyed a last meal of cheese, crackers and wine while watching There Will Be Blood

6-8:30 a.m. - Prepared at least 4 different breakfasts and smelled Josh's coffee, stomach grumbling.

9:15 a.m. - Checked in at the Sameday Surgery center, where I traded my yoga pants and tee for a hospital gown, slippers and something that appeared to be a shower cap made out of a paper napkin. Got hooked up to an IV and signed a sheaf of consent forms without really reading them.

10 a.m. - I walk into the OR, which is just as bright, ice-cold and scary as the place where I had my C-section. As they're strapping me down to the operating table, I briefly consider chickening out. A minute later they put something in my IV to "help me relax" into something called "twilight sleep." I say "But I'm not sleepy" and then next thing I know I'm being awakened in the recovery room.

11 a.m - Twilight sleep my ass; that felt just like general anesthesia. The only difference is I was a lot more with it when woken up. The nurse gives me a snack, and I suck down my cranberry juice and feast on the most delicious four Ritz crackers ever. Then Josh walks in with the girls and Z begins her daylong quest to examine my bandaged foot, which is promptly Velcroed into a gimp shoe.

I've been doing my best to follow doctor's orders and stay off my feet today, but that's hard to do when your husband leaves for a concert at 5:30. It took Z about an hour to realize that it really hurt for me to hobble around meeting her various requests, and she actually starting pitching in and helping me. A--not so much.