Something horrible has happened to A, a champion sleeper for most of her short life. With little warning, she's started resisting bedtime, refusing lullabies and making sure she's not the only one awake and unhappy in the wee hours.
Let's take last night. She didn't nap at the babysitter's house, so Josh put her to bed around 7pm. She asked him to stay in her room (this is a new development), and he watched her fall asleep, exiting the room at 7:20. (I was at a preschool board meeting.)
Josh and I turned in around 10:15, and at 10:55pm, I heard A calling--nay, yelling--for me. I went into her room and sat quietly on her chair as she tossed and turned. Her eyes closed within 10 minutes, and after 25 minutes, I began my stealthy creep out of the room.
The floorboards creaked. I was busted. "I'll come back and check on you in 10 minutes," I assured her, hoping she was close enough to slumber that she'de fall back asleep before then.
"Noooooooo!" she hollered and began crying in earnest. I told Josh I couldn't sneak out and he sweetly offered to take my place. All was quiet for a while, but shortly after I'd fallen back asleep, I was awakened by A whining for me and refusing to be comforted by her dad. She moaned for me over and over and over, which eventually made a tired and cranky Josh crazy angry. He eventually got to the end of his rope and stalked out. A then increased the volume about 1000 percent. I asked if he thought she maybe wanted to come to our bed. I'm not a huge fan of co-sleeping, but I'm very, very big proponent of sleeping and no one was going to be doing any of that with the hysterics in the next room. (Well, except for Z, who could probably sleep through a tornado.)
Josh picked up A and dumped her next to me on our bed. He then grabbed a blanket and his pillow and disappeared. After a few minutes of tears and hiccups (I think Josh had scared her), A calmed down. But the kid Would. Not. Sleep. I dozed off and on as she patted me, kicked me and complained that she couldn't sleep until close to 2am. Finally she asked to sleep in her own bed, but insisted I come with her to her room.
Low and behold, Josh was sleeping on her floor. I put her in her bed, watched her fall asleep from my perch by the door, and crept out, one inch at a time. Success!
Um, no. Fifteen minutes later A came toddling into my room, indignant that I'd left her. I helped her to the potty, brought her back to her bed and told Josh to go back to our bed--I'd take the spot on the floor. I listened as A tossed and turned and played the spooky Fisher-Price Ocean Wonders Aquarium music a dozen times before we both fell asleep.
Finally, around 3:30 am I was able to return to my own bed. With my own husband. I slept for 2 1/2 blissful hours before I once again heard the siren call of "Moooooommmmm-mmmmmmy!!!!"
We now live in fear of bedtime. Is CIO appropriate for a 3 year old? Can we lock her in her room and let her cry herself to sleep? Will she ever cry herself to sleep? Is there a better alternative? Has anyone else dealt with this?
I'm going to dangle a reward in front of her tonight, but if the promise of a stuffed animal from The Princess and the Frog (thanks, Disney!) doesn't get her to go to bed and stay there, we may be forced to take extreme measures.
6 comments:
Yup! This exact thing happened when A was three (now he's the ripe age of four). We finally put a sleeping bag on the floor by our bed and he has a standing invitation to come there at night. He comes often, and frequently is wide awake for a long time after. At least I'm laying down.
Like you, this is not the sort of habit I thought I would allow to build but we had gotten to the point (having a tiny sleepless baby at that time) that sleep was just more important.
Oh no! So sorry for this! I hope it is a stage that passes quickly. I assume it will, but how excruciating to go through right now! Time to get out the magic sleep dust again.
Not that I'm happy you are awake all night, but I'm so glad to hear it's not only us. We think we may never sleep again, between our 4 year old (once champion sleeper) and our 2 year old (who has never spent an entire night out of our bed. sigh.) Where did we go wrong?? Here's hoping you get your nights back. Soon! (And I just might try the sleeping bag idea...)
Oh no! I hope this does not happen to us with our 3 year old.
Nutmeg had a change in sleep patterns immediately following her sister's birth, when she was 2 and 3/4. She started coming in our bed in the middle of the night. We let her, cause we're crunchy like that, and she kept on doing it until she responded to our encouragement at age 5 to start staying in her own room all night.
The thing is, though, she just came to our room and went to sleep. She didn't stay awake and bother us. So it wasn't that bad. This, though? This sucks! I hope it ends very soon for you.
We go through this from time to time. The older my daughter gets, the more rewards and removal of privileges work. A rewards chart worked during one of our worst periods a couple years ago...five days of sleeping in her own bed without getting up and she could get a reward (a stuffy, small toy or trip with mommy to Pete's).
But sometimes, it turns out that she's adjusting to something and just needs extra cuddle time with mommy. I'll snuggle up with her for a few minutes and sometimes let her jump into bed with me and dad...for a little bit.
Co-sleeping doesn't work with our restless sleepers unless we pad them off with pillows to avoid slaps and gut kicks.
Good luck.
i would never let a child cio, just not a good thing to do. maybe she is just wanting more attention or is going through a stage that will pass through. as a parent, we must respond to our kid's needs since we signed up for the task no matter what it takes at times, this to will pass, i thnk you have just been lucky not to have sleaping issues in the past.
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