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Butt (nyuk, nyuk), I gave Diaper Goop a go. I laid off the preventative smearing at diaper change time and let Baby A's undercarriage get a little rusty before slathering on a fingerful of Diaper Goo at bedtime. It's got a color and consistency kind of like soft, slightly sticky Vaseline, and it smells slightly medicinal, but not horrible old man medicinal like Desitin. It's more of a vitamin aisle at Whole Foods kind of smell. The stickiness likely comes from lanolin, one of the product's main ingredients and one more typically dabbed on boobs than behinds.
Bottom line? It works. By morning Baby A's diaper rash was gone. And for the past month I've been using Diaper Goop exclusively and still no rash. Which means that functionally, it is Butt Paste's equal. It doesn't smell quite as nice and costs a bit more ($6.95 for a 2 ounce jar), but it will be heard to go back to using diaper cream in a tube after seeing how much more convenient a tub can be.